Once upon a time, The Girl with the Tree Tattoo posted about the difference between being someone’s friend and being friendly. Your ballroom dance teacher, she argued, isn’t your friend; he or she is being friendly, because ballroom is a business. Your teacher is part of your dance journey, not your whole life.
This is an important topic, one that can relate to any sport or activity in which there is a coach and a student. I’ve paired again with 1:1000 to create a fictional short story that reminds us to keep our expectations realistic.
Let’s show 1:1000 some love. โค Check out my latest story here.
Love the short story! Beautiful non-ballroom illustration of the complicated student-teacher relationship. ๐
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Thank you! ๐ Since most of my coaching experiences have been tennis-related (and so was the image I chose), it felt more natural to me to write about tennis than ballroom. That said, I do plan on writing something about ballroom one day. Maybe a goal for 2017 ๐
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Six Degrees…”Girl” I met Natalie via hers and someone else’s blog about stoning a dress. The original post was for an ice skating costume, Natalie’s was for ballroom dancing. Since then we’ve become friends on FB and YOU just were in a photo with one of my Friends/friends at dance camp. Remember when someone wrote “tell her I bought her book on my Kindle”? That was me. I’m literally shaking my head.
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Yes! Love it! That’s so cool, Barbara, I love that we’re all connected in one way or another. ๐
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That’s so crazy! What a small world ๐ That’s awesome.
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Ooh it’s a beautiful but also slightly chilling story, I really love it! How long have you been teaching tennis for?
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Thank you! I don’t teach tennis, actually, but I do play! ๐ I’ve been playing for about eight years, though I don’t always play very often. Do you play tennis, too?
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Yes I play tennis occasionally but my brother is the real tennis player in the family, and I have a friend who’s an assistant tennis coach! How did you get into tennis then?
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I took (very cheap) lessons through a summer program run by my hometown. After that, I played in high school! It was a lot of fun, and great exercise. ๐
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Good story! I like the imagery – even if there had been no photo along with it I’d easily be able to picture the scene. Nicely done.
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Awesome! I’m glad I was able to paint some semblance of a scene. Thank you!! ๐
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We are on the same wave-length here! I apologize, I haven’t read your story yet, but had to comment anyway. I also read “The Girl’s” comment about this and have thought of it often. But surprisingly, our dance instructors HAVE become friends! Maybe in a smaller community, this happens more easily, However, I do think of the article and realize there is still a difference between the two so I’m careful to not blur the lines too much.
I do have a friend who asked me advice regarding appropriate relationships with an instructor and what to do in case there could be sparks flying, real, or just imagined. I used Girl’s impressions to help her sort it out.
(I WILL read your story, I just have to figure out how to find it.My father was a tennis coach and I’ve played tennis too.)
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Found the link! All I could see earlier was the ad for FSA.
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Glad you found it! ๐
In some cases, I don’t think it’s impossible for instructors and students to become friends, but I think it’s important for people to be careful about assuming the two are the same. For some people, it’s quite possible to be friends on and off the dance floor, but it’s important to remember that this doesn’t always happen.
The truth behind this story is that I once had a tennis instructor whom I worked with leave the club I played at. He didn’t tell me when he left, and I always remembered feeling a bit hurt that he would have left without telling me. Of course, now that I’m older, I realize that he didn’t have any obligation to tell me, but back then, that wasn’t so clear. Luckily, my situation was easier than Riley’s from the story because there were no romantic feelings involved ๐ Whew!
Thanks for reading!
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I really enjoyed it, but kept looking for the next page! I was really caught up in it and didn’t want it to end. First if I were Hannah, I would have asked Riley to move his butt as if I went back for a shot, I wouldn’t want to get tangled with him! But my reaction definitely shows the self-absorption of a young man, focusing on the wrong aspect of the lesson. I did wonder why the instructor didn’t have him to move, but again, this is not a criticism of the author, I’m just showing how I was drawn into it and how these characters became real people for me.
As someone who’s played tennis (I hesitate to call myself a tennis-player) the tennis references rang true. There’s nothing worse to me than enjoying a book and hitting that jarring, off-note of an inaccuracy or factual error. Well done.
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Again, thank you! I imagine Amy would see Riley squatting in a weird place and inwardly sigh — then decide it wasn’t worth arguing with him to get him to move. Not for one point on a match that was just practice. In a competitive/tournament match, he never would have been allowed to stay there!
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That’s an evocative story Natalie. This is an extremely fitting analogy and believe it can be applied across so many relationships created not for friendships but for friendliness, e.g. employer and employee, teacher and student, guide and traveller… Oftentimes we mistake the imbalance of power for emotional idolisation, oftentimes with disastrous consequences. Love your exploration of this special relationship! โบ๏ธ
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So true! It’s an important social construct to understand, yet I can’t remember anyone ever clearly explaining it to me — which was The Girl with the Tree Tattoo’s blog post resonated with me so much.
“Oftentimes we mistake the imbalance of power for emotional idolisation, oftentimes with disastrous consequences”
Well-said ๐ Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
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It’s a shame we don’t ever truly get taught the intricacies of human relationships. It’s almost by virtue of trial and error that we come to know what we know, i.e. how to take rejection, or why we are even rejected in the first place. Sometimes it would be much easier if they were not so friendly to start with! ๐๐ฌ
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Right?! Ahaha, I wish they had a human relationships class in high school. I think a lot of people would have benefited from even an introduction to the topic (including me!).
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Me too! If you are running for politics and putting that on the agenda I’ll vote for ya! ๐
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#futuregoals ๐
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Great story!!! The way you wrote – I would think you have quite a bit of tennis experience ๐
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Thank you! I do — one of my jobs is at a tennis club, so I spend a lot of time around teaching pros and tennis players. I play a bit myself, too! ๐
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Love the story! You are a great creative writer:)
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Awww, thank you! ๐ That’s very sweet.
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Great short story, as someone who’s taught in the past I can understand the complex relationships between teachers and students.
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You definitely understand, then! Relationships can most definitely complex — even platonic ones.
Thanks for stopping by! ๐
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great post!! check out my articles on my blog as well!! ๐
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Thank you! ๐
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Great story and great imagery! I can tell you know a little about Tennis from the descriptions you used. Your words painted a perfect picture in my mind giving me the ability to truly see what was happening in the story.
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Thank you! ๐ That means a lot to me. Thanks for stopping by!
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I really enjoyed your story too. It felt very real.
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Thank you! ๐
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awesome! please check mine out: https://juleselbaba.wordpress.com/blog/
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Just read this piece over at 1:1000 and really enjoyed it! Definitely taps into the complexities and dynamics within even the most simple of relationships.
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Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it ๐
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Thanks! I enjoyed that! I’ve written about tennis too, slightly differently!
http://www.arikdondi.com/2017/02/01/three-things-i-want-to-learn-from-roger-federer/
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Awesome! We need more people writing about tennis ๐
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